After The Fact...

Somehow I think I failed to say
Just how I feel
Just how I feel
Just how I feel about you

I guess my pride got in the way
Of how I feel
Of how I feel
Of how I feel about you

I meant to say you already have my heart
I meant to say you already have my respect
I meant to tell you my intuition says trust you
Even when my past says, “fight for your life”

I tried to tell you I was falling
I tried to tell you I was hurting
I tried to tell you I was afraid
But my fear restrained my words
And my head restrained my heart

And so I neglected to tell you
That I am falling
That I am falling
That I am falling into you

I never allowed myself to believe
That this could be real
That our hearts were involved
That when we made love,
It was more than an act
That you could see me, feel me, hear me
That our connection was more than superficial,
An initial attraction that would quickly fade…

I could not quite accept
That you really did care
That I really should trust you
That in such a short time
‘We’ were worth the risk
And I could let go
That I should let go

I looked for the exit sign
I expected you to exit left
Leaving me to ponder why I ever let you in

I never considered
That you did not plan to leave…

And then all at once
I realized I was losing you
I realized I was bruising you
As you continued to bump your head
Against the walls of my fear

Then much too late
I grasps the truth that
I did not want to lose you
Or fight you, or fear you
Or push you away

Somehow my need to feel safe
No longer outweighed my need
To feel, just to feel
Because I finally realized
That I had found something real.

Funny how it takes tragedy
To bring about epiphanies
And mine was simply how I feel
Just how I feel
Just how I feel
About you


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