I'm Getting Really Good At Letting Go Of What And Who Is Not Good Or Meant For Me (QUICKLY), Even When My Heart / Soul Doesn't Want To, Or It Glitters Like A Starry Night Despite My Better Judgement... I Can't Hang Onto Anyone Who Diminishes Me, Who's Words And (Mis)Perception Of Me Insult My Soul, Or Anyone Who Has More Future Potential In My Life Than Present Contribution And Value All Dependent Upon Who They May Become When God Has Completed The Work. Not Even For The Prettiest Smile In The World... I Shouldn't Be More Enamored With The Idea And Possibility Of You Than I Am With The Reality Of You... 

(And, I was).

My 2014 Lesson; The Established Rule For Moving Forward: If I Have To Constantly Justify My Interaction With You To Myself, Justify Your Inconsistent Or Selfish Behavior, Justify The Way I Feel When I Leave Your Presence, All While Hoping For Something Better Or Different In The Future From A Place Inside Of You That Is Rarely Exposed And May No Longer Be Authentic (If It Was Ever - You Might Just Be a Good *Ahem* Actor...IJS): That's My Cue. It's Time To Press Delete. Your Brokenness Is Not My Fault Or Responsibility. I'm Not Meant To Walk On Eggshells Or Be Punished, Constantly Corrected, Gaslighted, Manipulated Or Controlled... And Why Be Around Someone When I'm Doing Most Of The Work, They Don't Honor Their Word, AND I Don't Like The Way They Make Me Feel...?

If You're Meant To Be In My Life, God Will Complete The Circle. Until Then, I'm Better Off Taking Care Of Myself And Not Adding To My Soul The Burden Of Internalizing You... Unconditional / Agape Love Does Not Equal Martyrdom. I Can Love You From A Distance. I've Learned To Let Go...

‪#‎IHaveTheGiftOfGoodbye‬

My Favorite LOVE Poems By Saul...

The Wind’s Song 

by

Saul Williams

(because this is how my heart is leaning at present... #Open) 

The square root of kiss is a hum

I hum under my breath when I contemplate the drum

of your heartbeat

and my heart beats for your breath

I revel in the wind for mere glimpses

I’m tornado over you

would you look into the eye of my storm

I whirlwind through your life like breeze

and fill your lungs

as we achieve the second power of a hum

I love…

as instruments come to life

through breath

the wind sends my high notes to indigo communions

with Coltrane’s Favorite Things

…this is my body which is given for you,

this is my blood which is given for you…

my love like the wind, uncaged

blows time into timeless whirlpools

transfiguring fear and all of its subordinates

(possession, jealousy, fear)

into crumbling dried leaves

my love

is the wind’s slave

and, thus, is free

my love

is the wind that is shaped

as it passes through the lips of earthly vessels

becoming words of wisdom

songs of freedom

or simply hot air

my love

is the wind’s song

if it is up to me, I’ll never die.

if it is up to me, I’ll die tomorrow

one thousand times in an hour and live seven minutes later.

if it is up to me, the sun will never cease to shine

and the moon will never cease to glow

and I’ll dance a million tomorrows

in the sun rays of the moon waves

and bathe in the yesterdays of days to come

ignoring all of my afterthoughts

and preconceived notions

if it is up to me, it is up to me

and thus is my love

untainted

eternal

the wind is the moon’s imagination wandering

it seeps through cracks

explores the unknown

and

ripples the grass

my love is my soul’s imagination

how do I love thee?

imagine

- from The Seventh Octave - The Early Writings of Saul Stacey Williams

***AND THIS***

ETERNITY

I closed my eyes
Although I never knew the difference
I stood before a brighter light
At lesser distance
And then, a feeling.
Almost as if nothing were ever
Bound to repeat itself again.
As if history had been as masterfully created
As the great pyramids
And any attempt to reconstruct
Or relive any given moment
Would have to stem from an understanding
Of how the pyramids were built from the top down.
And if one could understand such majesty
One would also understand that kisses hold codes
For unlocking new portals
And that pyramids were first made of flesh
Our bonded souls shifting
Through hidden corrals and passageways
I will find my way to eternity
Within you...

~ Saul Williams ~

Pining For The One...

My heart and mind,
Body and soul
Are united in chorus
Screaming for you:
My Muse...
My Song...
"My angel, my all, my other self;
My immortal beloved"...

Your touch.
Your kiss.
Your body.
Your love...
Your love.
To touch your love.
And call you home.

Please come soon...

~AnOmali™~

Just A Tiny Note In Time...Just In Case...

Every Now And Then You Meet And Have An Organic And Profound Connection With Someone...

You Have A Conversation That, Not Only Changes Your Energy Entirely, Soothes Your Soul, And Challenges Your Jade, But Also Exceeds Your Expectations In EVERY Conceivable Way...

This Is Someone With Whom You Vibe On Every Level Effortlessly...Spiritually, Emotionally, Intellectually; You Share Values, Perspectives, Depth, And Suddenly You Feel Validated Beyond Belief Just As You Are And A Whole Lot Less Alone In The World...

Especially If You're An "AnOmali"...

Yeah...Today Was A Good Day...

*smiles... ... ...*

‪#‎Grateful‬
‪#‎RealConnection‬

And It's Never Enough...

I've infinite options

And none with a clue

They dance for my smiles

The unwitting fools

Because they don't realize

The God awful truth

I'll only resent them

For not being you...

On Invisible Love...

It doesn't matter that I miss you
'Cause you just won't treat me right
Matters not how much I love you
'Cause you put up no real fight
I just wish I had an anchor
To the truth of my heart's plight
So I'd stop wishing you would fix it
Wish you could with all my might...

But you can't.
And you won't.
And I hate
How my heart hopes
For the impossible...

Love Eclipses Truth...

(1st Draft Of The Other Side Of An Internal War)

(The Opponent: Inexplicable LOVE)

How can I be here for you

Knowing you must traverse this all alone?

I pray my love will comfort you

I'll prop you up when all your strength is gone

I'll be your silent cheering squad

I'll hold you from a distance, from afar

And no matter what you choose

I'll lay down my will with all my heart

My love has no agenda here

There is no selfish purpose to pursue

And regardless of the outcome

I want only your best; I believe in you.

So take your space and take your time

I want you whole, I want to see you healed

And if you wonder if someone will hold you down

I love you and I will.

My Synonyms For Love:  Faith, Hope, Vision, Trust, Knowing/ The Known, Selflessness, Humility, Steadfastness

Overlapping...The Truth

(1st Draft Of One Side Of An Internal War)

(Legitimate FEAR: It's Opponent To Follow)

I don't want to be 

Your pain's great escape

A rebound: Or reboot

Your fearful enclave

You can't fall for me

Yet still grieve for her(s)

I'll clear out the path 

I know my own worth

I'm in love with you
It's palpable; real
Maybe you're in love with 
How I make you feel

Inevitably

I'll just end up hurt

I've no time to lose

I can't be deterred

My time is too precious

And you need to heal

My heart is no fodder

For jeopardy's wheel.

I must walk away

From this beautiful dream

With eyes opened wide

To inconsistency

Transference of feelings

I'm no substitute

If it's real, God reveal...

Until then, Love, 

Adieu.

My Synonyms For Fear:  Common Sense, Reality, Grounded-ness, Statistics, Self Preservation, Time Management, Self Control, General Control