Love Is A Battlefield...

As you take in the magnitude of the words to the song that is now playing on this page, please contemplate the following...

My Question:

Why is it that the right ONE always comes along after someone(s) else has crossed our paths and damaged us so much that we can barely recognize ourselves...and had that right ONE shown up just one relationship, one year, one lifetime prior, we would have been so ready and open; willing and able; prepared and waiting...just for them?

If anyone has an answer, an idea, or even a loosely related thought, please feel free to write a novel here...


~A

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LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD
(Now Playing)

(Verse I)
You're begging me to go
And you make me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way?
Or am I the best thing you've had?
Believe me, believe me,
I can't tell you why
But I'm trapped by your love
And I'm chained to your side

(Chorus)
We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

(Verse II)
We're losing control
Will you turn me away
Or touch me deep inside?
And before this gets old
Will it still feel the same?
There's no way this will die
But if we get much closer
We could lose control
And when your heart surrenders
You'll need me to hold

(Chorus)
We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield...

Love is a battlefield...

Love is a battlefield...


Written by: M. Chapman/H. Knight


These are the words in my heart...let's hope and pray this is one battle I will eventually and eternally win...because Lord knows I have had enough 'Love TKO's' for several lifetimes...and my heart is raw with joy and pain, devastation and the agony of hope...


~A

"CONSTANT CRAVINGS": The Most Beautiful Song EVER Written 4 Moi!!! ;)

Any time I feel alone in the world (no matter where I am in the world) or like no one really gets me or sees me or sometimes even loves me, I will humm these words to myself...kind of like going home...inside of myself, my truth, no car or plane required...

Thank you, DJ...

Constant Cravings
(Verse I)
If I was a maze in love
I'd puzzle you.
If I were a phase in love
I'd move you.
Not too many days in love are this wonderful.
But you put up a shield to love
Let me break through.

I know you've been hurt,
Felt like thunder on tin foil.
But I know where you'll go I will go,
I see you clearly.

(Chorus)
I'll play the role just so you know,
Don't want control, (give it to me).
I'll play the fool to honor you
Just give me you, (give it to me).
No second guess or last requests
I want your best, (give it to me)
My love is strong ain't nothing wrong
So feel this song and give it to me.

(Verse II)
Just the other day my love
I thought of you.
I got down on my knees for love
And I prayed for you.
Though the world has lied on love
I still believe,
That if you trust and ask for love
You will receive.

I know you've been hurt,
Felt like dust in your eyes.
But I know where you'll go, I will go,
You're my beautiful sunrise.

(Chorus)
I'll play the role just so you know,
Don't want control, (give it to me).
I'll play the fool to honor you
Just give me you, (give it to me).
No second guess or last requests
I want your best, (give it to me)
My love is strong ain't nothing wrong
So feel this song and give it to me.

(Bridge)
I know you've been hurt,
Felt like snow in July.
But I know where you'll go, I will go
Because baby you changed my life...

(Chorus)
I'll play the role just so you know,
Don't want control, (give it to me).
I'll play the fool to honor you
Just give me you, (give it to me).
No second guess or last requests
I want your best, (give it to me)
My love is strong ain't nothing wrong
So feel this song and give it to me.

Unspoken...

I blink
and again
and you hear my thoughts as clearly
as if I'd read you my diary
three times
slow

I say the exact opposite of what I intend
And still you hear what it is that remains
unsaid
as clear as the radio
as clearly as when I sing
although that is the only time I am not hiding
the truest parts of my soul
from the world
from myself
or you...

I nod in agreement
Midstream in conversation
about nothing and everything
and everything in between
And you know my longings
unshared, uninvited
un..
un...
un...

I sit and I stare
participating in this ocean of communique
wondering why I'm sharing so much,
and so little
and feeling as exposed
as if you were performing surgery
and my ass was out
beneath that little gown

I respond on instinct
never missing a beat
hiding the beating beneath my breasts
that is so loud and hard
I think you can hear it
and me
and my thoughts
without intention

I anticipate
without knowing what to expect
I digress
knowing I've already said too much

I move forward
and back away
then forward again
as though I've been beckoned
and I feel your beckoning
although I don't know how or why
especially the why of the thing
when I don't know who you are
how you are
or if your seeing me
means freeing me
in the way, to my soul, it would seem

I trust with childlike apprehension
and am yet afraid to move
we bond
we validate
understand
and commiserate
A sort of Spiritual Telepathy
Every thought: confirmed
Idea: confirmed
Guteral Notion: Confirmed

And
still,
I'm left wanting
wondering
unsatisfied
and grateful

I imagine I am not alone
as we've such unspoken connection
an innate familiarity
a knowing
like you are my soul's synonym

I imagine, I am sinking in this abyss without a raft
And you've no idea that I've even fallen into the water
I imagine
you...

In reality, this is just a piece of me
connecting to a piece of you
and that is probably all it was
ever meant to do

so with gratitude
I'll accept this piece of
everything I've ever wanted to share with another
this understanding, a gift
I'll be that amazing friend who
sees through you
sees what they miss
stays to pick up the pieces
and blinks my replies with more honesty
than mere words will ever utter

I'll wonder if you've read between the lines
the blinks
the stares
the pauses
the filters

I'll blush in the moments
When I know you have
I'll want to explore
But will continue to push the button that says
denied
denied
So that you can never hurt my pride
I'll leave things as they are
as they are meant
I'll relish in the moment
and all I feel
and all I know
and all of my imaginings, wonderings,
knowing
will remain

Unspoken...


~Copyrighted~

Suicide (A Conceptual Piece Born In The Dark Place In My Soul Today...*UPDATED* 1/15)

Friday, January 02, 2009

...SUICIDE... 

("The Death Of Hope" by Frida Kahlo)

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This piece is still evolving, thus the slashes between undecided lines - a metaphor within itself, I suppose, etc...it will continue to evolve for those of you with the heart and the insight to actually read it, those who know of the story in which it echoes, and those of you who run deep enough to even begin to understand...

(Dedicated to T.A.C. — affectionately known in my circle and to me LIFE, as "The Anti-Christ"...)

---

SUICIDE(THE DEATH OF HOPE)
Guess this is a note
Of suicide
See I'm marking the day
That the hope in me died
And I've nothing to lose
And I've nothing to hide
Hell, I don't even really
Have any pride (left)

You've scarred my soul
And dimmed my light
You bore my karma
Constant night / plight
I've nothing left
With which to fight
These wings, now clipped
Cannot take flight

Broken in ways
Words cannot describe
You ripped out my heart
Then twisted the knife
Thus, I fear no one as
Truth and life fail to twine
Bleeding out like the tide
It's my final goodbye...

See I'm all out of love
And you’ve run out of time
We're all out of meter
And all out of rhyme
No song left in me
Just an endless rewind
Disfigured remnants
That can no longer cry

Though you might think it sad
There'll be no 'one last try'
Imagine me free
Of your chains, of your lie / of this life
Do not say of a broken heart
Hope died
Say she loved me through hell / too well
'Twas suicide


— Copyright © AnOmali 101 —

("The Suicide of Dorothy Hale" by Frida Kahlo)

In secret we met--

In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?--

With silence and tears.

— Lord Byron —