Unspoken...

I blink
and again
and you hear my thoughts as clearly
as if I'd read you my diary
three times
slow

I say the exact opposite of what I intend
And still you hear what it is that remains
unsaid
as clear as the radio
as clearly as when I sing
although that is the only time I am not hiding
the truest parts of my soul
from the world
from myself
or you...

I nod in agreement
Midstream in conversation
about nothing and everything
and everything in between
And you know my longings
unshared, uninvited
un..
un...
un...

I sit and I stare
participating in this ocean of communique
wondering why I'm sharing so much,
and so little
and feeling as exposed
as if you were performing surgery
and my ass was out
beneath that little gown

I respond on instinct
never missing a beat
hiding the beating beneath my breasts
that is so loud and hard
I think you can hear it
and me
and my thoughts
without intention

I anticipate
without knowing what to expect
I digress
knowing I've already said too much

I move forward
and back away
then forward again
as though I've been beckoned
and I feel your beckoning
although I don't know how or why
especially the why of the thing
when I don't know who you are
how you are
or if your seeing me
means freeing me
in the way, to my soul, it would seem

I trust with childlike apprehension
and am yet afraid to move
we bond
we validate
understand
and commiserate
A sort of Spiritual Telepathy
Every thought: confirmed
Idea: confirmed
Guteral Notion: Confirmed

And
still,
I'm left wanting
wondering
unsatisfied
and grateful

I imagine I am not alone
as we've such unspoken connection
an innate familiarity
a knowing
like you are my soul's synonym

I imagine, I am sinking in this abyss without a raft
And you've no idea that I've even fallen into the water
I imagine
you...

In reality, this is just a piece of me
connecting to a piece of you
and that is probably all it was
ever meant to do

so with gratitude
I'll accept this piece of
everything I've ever wanted to share with another
this understanding, a gift
I'll be that amazing friend who
sees through you
sees what they miss
stays to pick up the pieces
and blinks my replies with more honesty
than mere words will ever utter

I'll wonder if you've read between the lines
the blinks
the stares
the pauses
the filters

I'll blush in the moments
When I know you have
I'll want to explore
But will continue to push the button that says
denied
denied
So that you can never hurt my pride
I'll leave things as they are
as they are meant
I'll relish in the moment
and all I feel
and all I know
and all of my imaginings, wonderings,
knowing
will remain

Unspoken...


~Copyrighted~