UNTITLED (Anticipation)

::Anticipation::

What is it about you That keeps my mind From straying too far From the sound of your voice for long? 
What is it about your voice That calms and excites me Both soothes and ignites within me A passion too frightening to explore While my fear subsides Whenever I choose to rest near Intuitive truth 
I am afraid to let my imagination run wild For fear of disappointment Yet more afraid of the possibility That my mind’s eye could be exceeded only by reality 
But are you real? 
I'm wondering while wandering if I am Already residing in a place of no return Unless I allow what is meant To unfold To be To manifest Fully And incorporate it’s self Into some fold or facet of destiny To merge with me And render us seamless 
What compelled me to even begin? Was it inevitable? Or did I just will it; will YOU into existence Setting into motion Unfolding events to match my erratic, yet Unwavering desires? 
Do you know me, us, infinitely? Or am I, in my wanting of satiation So transparent That you can slip into my fantasy, As easily as I slip into a negligee to fulfill yours? 
Your words caress my intellect And the far reaching parts of me As if you’ve been reading my journals Since the age of innocence As if you’ve anticipated Prepared and rehearsed for me Forever 
And try as I may I can’t seem to run, or turn, or pause, or hide, or decelerate, Or move – beyond this place And I must know what the ending will be… 

— Copyright © AnOmali 101

IF YOU WERE HERE

If you were here…

I would touch you and hold you and let you cry until all the pain subsides
As I whispered in your ear how I could never allow myself to hurt you like that again
That there is never a reason to let myself go at your expense…never an excuse,
Never any pardon for anger strong enough to damage the sum of what we share.

I would stroke your cheek, play in your hair, kiss your forehead
And try my best make you feel secure in the most insecure moment of us

I would caress your body – and pull you close to me
Squeezing you tight, to make you feel my heart
Skipping beats from the pain I’d caused you

I would not say I love you – because I’d know in this moment
You’d need to feel…and hearing would fall on deaf ears…

So I would stroke you – allow you to place my hands where you desired them most…
Allow you to take whatever you wanted, needed from me
Giving you all…
Without words
Until I cried your tears
And the river of us flowed into the ocean
Until the river of us ran dry…
Until the river of us was reborn from the depths of the Earth
And thus made whole

If you were here – none of this would be…
If you were here – I’d be more like me…
If you were here…
If only you were here…

I’m sorry.


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -