The Poetic Soul Of ÅnØmålî™...

Just A Few Excerpts From My Life... Here You Will Find My Poetry (Jumbled Thoughts Usually Written In The Heart Of Volatile Emotion I Had No Other Way To Express), A Collab Or Two, Some Of My Favorite Poems/Poets, Original And/Or Favorite Quotes...A Few Blogs/Brief Essays: Free-Style, Words That Move Me; Strike A Chord In Me, And That I Believe Could Or Should Strike Something In Others... Take Me In Slowly...I Swim The Depths Of The Soul...And I Am At Home There... ~A

My Photo
Name:
Location: Catch Me If You Can..., , United States


...Songstress.Writer.Freedom Fighter.Muse.Rebel.Actress.Prophet.Poet.Musician.Genre Bender.GOD Lover.Dichotomy.Trailblazer.World Changer. Blah, Blah, Blah...

"Art Is The Reason I Get Up In The Morning..."

By The Very Definition Of My Name, I Am Without Rules, Boundaries, Or The Confines Of This World...

"In This World, But Not Of This World"...

Simply Stated: I DON'T DO BOXES!

My Music; My Writing; Is My Soul Poured Onto Canvas. I Am Utterly Naked And Without Pretense Or Shame. To Understand It; To Truly Connect With My Words Is To Know Some Genuine Piece Of Me…Infinitely.

~ÅnØmålî~

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

THE BEAUTIFUL TRUTH


(Written 4 Me)

a beautiful lie

the beautiful lie
the lie that was told in an effort to build me up
but instead ended up tearing me down.
the lie that was told out of pure passion.
you know that thing that people say
when they`re inside you.
in side you.
because inside you feels soooo good?
so right?
how could it possibly be a lie?
how could what i`m feeling right now
be but a mirage
filled with water, wine, and plentiful fruits
placed strategically
in the desert of confusion and uncertainty
only to deceive my foolish heart
and my childish mind?
it`s so beautiful i can barely stand to see it
look into it`s eyes.
because in those eyes i see
sincerity and honesty
unmatched by any other eyes
i have been blessed to behold.
honestly
i won`t lie to you
how could any fallacy dwell
behind those ocular windows to ones soul?
i saw your soul.
and i still see it.
it is a startling angelic beauty
that couldn`t possibly
be misleading me and my truthful heart.
i mean, in my prophetic sight
i am incapable of being fooled.
so was it all really just a lie?
or am i lying to myself in order
not to see my own truth(s)?
i don`t know.
but what i do know is that
each moment spent
each beautiful lie that
my mind is telling me i was told,
my heart believed.
and truthfully in my third eye`s sight,
i know i saw what i thought i saw,
and it was not a mirage.
i felt what i thought i felt
and the most beautiful lie ever told
was never a lie
at all.

PrettyTomboy Ent. ©2005


AND MY REPLY:

(Written In Response To "A Beautiful Lie" After Ultimate Betrayal...)

The beautiful truth in coming out of the dark
Is that, while damaged, I am not broken
And I will heal without scars
I am no less beautiful or amazing than I was before you
I am no mirage – and the truth of who I am is far greater than you ever imagined
And your mere words can never take that away

Your lies, instability, self hatred and cruelty don’t change the sum of me –
They only rot the core of you
After all: “A double minded man is unstable in all of his ways.”
And I have never changed…

My hypnotic eyes, the windows to my soul are still full of a truth and honesty
Honesty unmatched by any you have ever been blessed to behold
Nor will again
My angelic soul is still the most beautiful you have ever seen…
And knowing this beautiful truth; this is what destroys you from the inside
This is what devours your peace
This is why, in spite of all
The woman you claim was just a mirage
Is still in the front of your mind – tormenting your sense of logic
Floating around in your thoughts, your dreams, and your words
Defying all you think you know
Unmatched by ANY other woman on Earth
Because for the first time, you were led entirely by truth
You were led out of confusion
And your mind knew true peace
Because your spirit led the way…

No. The most beautiful lie ever told was never a lie at all
Because I never hid myself from you
Nor was there any falsehood
In my presentation: or my love
I am what I am – and always will be
Sadly – a beautiful lie can never be a beautiful truth
If truth is not honored by all

I will not fight you, or fight for you
Because LOVE and TRUTH are the only things in this world
Worth fighting for
And you gave up that battle long ago
Long before you ever had the courage to tell me
Because you still don’t have the courage to tell me…

So I can only live for myself
And I can only live for today
And as the pain subsides
And Anger is no longer my motivating force
Beyond the disappointment in who you have become
OR the horror and disbelief of
Having been deceived about everything you are
Everything you ever said; ever felt; or ever shared with me
I feel very little but sadness for the road you have chosen
As I know, in the end, it will harm you more
Than you can ever damage me –
Though not for your lack of trying

So make me the villain
Pretend that you are not living a lie
Pretend you haven’t known the truest and rarest of loves
Pretend that nothing we shared was ever real
Because that is safe, and that is convenient
Take the easy way out
Add another scar to that already damaged soul of yours
One more woman you are not over
One more relationship you are not healed from
One more sheet, one more layer to keep you from having the real thing
Go ahead, pretend I was not the real thing
Be a coward, be cruel,
Pull me close in anger; push me away with calloused words
Because you’ve not the courage to say “I was wrong”
Because you have not the courage to right the wrongs of your past
Because you do not have the courage to heal or battle your demons
Because you haven’t the courage to live your dreams or pursue
A Higher Standard – a higher purpose, a deeper truth, a spiritual love

At least, in your cowardice, mask your truth enough that it does not
Come back to haunt you, when the inevitable failure of what is not meant
(As what does not work, will NOT work…)
Has beaten you down – and you reach for the ghost
Now standing where I once stood

Transfer your injurious energy onto me, make it all my fault
Act out in anger! – Instead of expressing the truth: the painful loss you feel
In knowing that I am no longer within your reach

Make me less than I am – because that makes the lie more bearable
I can bare it – I bore you –
And I am no worse for the wear
I am still magnificent,
Still a blinding light in darkness that everyone can see
Even if your lies have repressed your sense of sight and truth
I am still beyond all that you ever have or will ever know
You have always known, always acknowledged that…
Even if you play make-believe now

I will remain the standard and in time
The truth of who and what I was will haunt you
But then, it will be much too late…
It already is.
I will never trust you.
I will never believe your eyes.
I will never receive your words.
My heart will never open to you.
My love will never be fully yours.
Again.

So here is to love
That is: That could’ve been
That never fully was
And the beautiful truth
Which illuminates my path with grace
And leads me into righteousness
The beautiful truth which lets me love you still
In spite of yourself – in spite of my pain
Not as a lover, but as the ghost who will live in my prayers
Until you are whole

Thank you…for the moments…for the lesson…
If it were not for your ability to make me see forever in your eyes
When I was really nothing more than an infatuation, a distraction
Someone used to get by, to get through
The rough parts of a relationship doomed to fail…
I would never know that someone COULD lie with their eyes
And that is indeed something to know…

It’s alright now…I am home again – back on my path – walking in truth
And the truth feels so good – so right…inside me
Inside me
And I know that this is where I belong…


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home