The Poetic Soul Of ÅnØmålî™...

Just A Few Excerpts From My Life... Here You Will Find My Poetry (Jumbled Thoughts Usually Written In The Heart Of Volatile Emotion I Had No Other Way To Express), A Collab Or Two, Some Of My Favorite Poems/Poets, Original And/Or Favorite Quotes...A Few Blogs/Brief Essays: Free-Style, Words That Move Me; Strike A Chord In Me, And That I Believe Could Or Should Strike Something In Others... Take Me In Slowly...I Swim The Depths Of The Soul...And I Am At Home There... ~A

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Location: Catch Me If You Can..., , United States


...Songstress.Writer.Freedom Fighter.Muse.Rebel.Actress.Prophet.Poet.Musician.Genre Bender.GOD Lover.Dichotomy.Trailblazer.World Changer. Blah, Blah, Blah...

"Art Is The Reason I Get Up In The Morning..."

By The Very Definition Of My Name, I Am Without Rules, Boundaries, Or The Confines Of This World...

"In This World, But Not Of This World"...

Simply Stated: I DON'T DO BOXES!

My Music; My Writing; Is My Soul Poured Onto Canvas. I Am Utterly Naked And Without Pretense Or Shame. To Understand It; To Truly Connect With My Words Is To Know Some Genuine Piece Of Me…Infinitely.

~ÅnØmålî~

Thursday, February 24, 2005

SPOKEN LIKE A WIFE...
I THINK TOO MUCH LIKE A WIFE...

I WILL NOT – (This Is A Work/Truth/Declaration In Progress…)

I will not let how you treat me define how I love you
I will not let how you hurt me define how I treat you
I will not let your cruelty alter who I am, or control how I behave
I will not let your belittling of me to justify your choices
Define me or lessen my sense of self worth
I will not let lies conceived in pain and anger
Fester and become truth in my heart
I will not let what I see in the moment
Destroy my hope and faith in the future
I will not allow the acting out of the wounded inner child
Blind my memory to the loving, beautiful adult
That still exists beneath your walls of defense
I will not cling to a human security blanket – new or old
To repress my feelings, or numb myself to you
In an effort to avoid some painful truth
I will not let words purposefully left unspoken
Devalue all that has been shared and understood
I will not let the pain of your publicized anger
Drive the truth of your love from my soul
I will not let pride and shame make me lie, even to myself
I will not let poor communiqué, or lack thereof
Be the sole excuse for the loss of my dearest friend
I will not let fear of pain, or fear of failure
Force me to cower from the most virtuous of battles
I will not let small, momentary defeats beat the fight out of my heart
I will not let my heart declare a crime scene and close indefinitely
I will not let my words be misspoken in anger and frustration
Even when cruel words are spewed at me
I will not be too proud to forgive without penalty,
To say I’m sorry – even when I am not at fault
If that’s what it takes to create peace and restore balance
I will not let my intellect overrule the truth in my heart
I will not overreact in self defense
When you lash out at me in hurt disguised as venom
I will not fail to see your truth through your layers of disguise
I will not focus on the surface of your deeds,
Failing to hear what it is that your frustrated heart
Cannot find the words or courage to say
I will not feed into your self defeated, subconscious sabotage of us
I will not fight with you just because you incite me to wrath
I will not ignore the truth within my soul
Even if is defied by what you say and do, and all I see
I will not let your pain push me permanently away
I will not turn my back on you, when in my heart I know that you need me
I will not be afraid to love without boundaries
To hold your hand and walk through hell without a safety net
To be your silent strength in the battle for your soul
Or love you from a prayerful distance
While you conquer your demons, one by one
If that’s what it takes to make you whole
I will not fear the consequences
Of being true to myself, or my heart
I will not bail out on you,
Even in the face of your abandonment of me
I will not give up on you, in spite of the fact
That you don’t even seem to see or know me anymore
I will not stop loving you merely because it is inconvenient
Just because it hurts; for lack of reciprocity…
And even though my heart is breaking, and it feels like hell:
I will not take the easy way out.

I will not change
I will not falter
I will not pretend
I will not repress
I will not deny
I will not run
I will not hide
I will not lie
I will not fade
I will not bend
I will not break
I will not…

I will not.


– Copyright © AnOmali 101 –

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