CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."

- Anais Nin -

---

I JUST HAD TO GET THIS IDEA, SCRAMBLED FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, OUT OF MY MIND... DRAFT ONE of THE MELODY IN MY HEAD...



CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU

And I can't even look at you
When I think of how I loved you
Think of how you hurt me

Can't even look at you
When I think of how I fought fate
How could love desert me

Can't even look at you
And I want nothing to remind me
Don't want to feel, don't want to hurt
Don't want to know
Just want to shirk this off
Like you did love...

And I can't even look at you
When I remember the lost time
And some things still remind me
Of what was

No, I can't even look at you
Don't want to see your face
Don't want to speak your name
Or hear it said

Don't want to look at you
Don't want to know you anymore
I've shut and bolted that door
Don't want to miss, don't want to love
Don't want to see, Don't want to know...If you're ok
'Cause I'm ok
'Cause I'm ok
'Cause I'm ok
I am ok.

And I've found my peace now
Just as long as I pretend
It doesn't matter
That you don't care
It wasn't real
That I was fair
Long as I fight
The loss I feel
And pretend I am on the only one
Who feels it...

And I can't look back,
And we can't go back,
And you could never take it back
And I could never take you back

And I can't even look at you
'Cause I know that love was real
And, I like how numb I feel
Now that it's gone

And I don't want to look at you
And see how much I'm missed
Or remember one kiss
Or your tears

I can't even look at you
I don't want to turn around
When all hope was shut down
So long ago

And it hurts inside to know
That some seeds just don't grow
And love could never save us anyhow
The pain is just too bad
And I just can't stay sad
And I don't want to know you now.

And no matter how much I know
I know I've moved on
I'm happy and healthy
And so fucking strong
I know it would cut me
And I'd turn to salt
If I turned around...

So I won't turn back...
And I won't reflect
'Cause it's my new life
That I must protect
And when it gets hard
I know I must press ahead...
Put it out of my head.

Because love was not enough
And you were not enough
And it still hurt...

And so I can't...

I can't even look at you...


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -

(A Work {SONG} In Progress)



~A

DANCING IN THE SUN

And I am finally FREE! FREE to laugh, free to dream and pursue and live those dreams without restraint; Free to continue sojourning to wholeness without any dead weight slowing me down or causing more scar-leaving injuries to heal from along the way; Free to find and love an equal in 'a love with no illusions' (Thanks, Blue! ;), no settling, no justifying, no compromising my core values. Free to write and sing my soul without explanation. Free to understand and be understood by those worthy of the sharing. Free to live in the truth that my soul has always called home without compromise. Free to soar above an aimless existence and those who choose to dwell in that space. Free to smile at, and for, nothing other than the wonder of being alive! Free to take care of MY SELF without having to constantly look after someone who does not look after themselves, let alone, me. Free to be extraordinary, to rise above all I see and live by faith. Free to explore the world and everything and one in it that intrigues me! Free! Free!

FREE TO BE ME! Without apology.

Life is good. God is good.

And I am GOOD! And getting better everyday!

Be looking for BIG things from me in the very near future~ There is NOTHING holding me back anymore!

A friend sent this timely quote to me and I knew it had to be included in this post:

"Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it...You know your worth, surround yourself with that same worth".
I hear that LOUD & CLEAR!

I am smiling with my spirit! Feeling affirmed. Establishing my permanent peace with the Universe. And accepting that it has within it all I need...and I have within me all I need, because the Universe is within me, not just all around me...as is GOD!

:)


~A

TO SWAY WITH WINGS OF FIRE...

The bird proudly willing to burn,
So that she may live again,
Chooses the flames of fires
That burn the aged Phoenix
Then nature stands still
Till a new young bird starts again,
and begins the legend of the Phoenix...

---

SWAY

I'm swaying in feelings that don't know how to feel
Emotions I cannot label
Memories I cannot recall...
Not enough to feel
Not enough to recall if they were ever real
Uncertain of my place...
Of the face
That I see before me now...
I've been here too long.
I've been here before.

So I sway to and fro
From certain to unsure
From confident to fearful
From hopeful to regret
Burned by each turn
And I don't get to be the wind unless I choose...

So how do I choose?
And what do I feel?
And how can one EVER be sure
While in the flight
Swimming on waves of fire
And air
Blown about aimlessly
Wind that changes course
With the slightest temperature elevation
Or none at all?

And, so I sway...
And I suppose I'll continue this way...
Until I fall out of the sky...
Or become...

The fire
And the wind.

- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -



THE LEGEND OF THE PHOENIX
The myths of many cultures say that the sun, in fact, light itself, first entered the world in the form of a sacred bird. The Greeks called the bird the Phoenix. The Egyptians named it Benu and it personified the all-powerful Sun God, Atum, whose name literally means "to rise in brilliance". Representing rebirth and a harbinger of good fortune, the Phoenix is a robust archetypal symbol for growth and change. Chinese, Sumerian, Assyrian, Incan, and Aztec peoples all looked upon this creature as uniquely immortal. Perhaps the best known story comes from the Greeks who believed that after setting fire to itself, this magnificent bird had the power to rise up out of it's own ashes and soar majestically into the heavens.

The only one in all the world. She is born and soars the heavens for many human lifetimes. When it is her time to die, she builds a huge nest which not only nestles one golden egg but becomes her funeral pyre. As she dies the sun touches the nest and the flame rises, consuming her body and providing the brooding heat necessary to warm the egg. The fire finally dies down and there is stirring among the ashes.

Like a golden flame, bright as the sun, rises another golden bird, the only one in all the world.

Whether she is known as Phoenix, or any of a host of other names, she stands as the symbol of determined life which will not give way to any attempt to still or overcome it. The story of the Phoenix illuminates the inner authority each of us has to realize our full potential, achieve our greatest emotional, creative, and spiritual goals, and emerge transformed out of life's difficulties, our own inertia, or self-imposed limitations.



PHOENIX
(Now Playing)

I’ll tell you 'bout the future of a heart that heals with time...
Still I see in you someone I once knew
Way back in the past
When my song had words
And the words were meant for you
Tell me when did our future end?
Now I see the truth staring out a window
At love gone astray, running from herself
Trying to make believe that it was just a dream
'Cause when love asks of you more than you can give
You find a way to disappear

Don't you think it's strange
That love could make us strangers?
To be your friend: You ask too much of me
For now I need some time to be alone, yes alone
Isn't it strange to love alone, ain’t it strange to love alone

I know 'bout the future that only time will tell
If you see in me, someone you once knew
A shadow in your life
Before your song had words
And your words will ring true
About love you left in the flames
Well when the smoke clears and I rise
You'll see pain deep in my eyes
But you won't see a tender heart afraid of breaking
The time for tears, the time for tears is yesterday
The time for my life is now
It's time to say
My heart will rise again
I will rise again

- Frank McComb -

---

"Sway" is just a free write; jumbled thoughts and feelings I just needed to get out of my head.

The rest of this is the evolution of the thoughts of my soul...




~A

A CONVERSATION Piece...

A Conversation Piece

"Don’t punish me for the mistakes of others”
Yet you turned around and made those same mistakes

“You can believe in what I say”

And, I did, so it’s my heart that now breaks

“I want the same things that you do”

So I surrendered, let you make me your own

“You are my TwinKin, of this I’m sure”

So I abandoned my doubts and gave into your ‘Known’

“We’re connected at the core,
We just need to make time to get to know”

Then:

“It’s not convenient anymore,
So now I’ll take back all the love I’ve shown”

“Baby, You’re everything to me”

But only when it 's easy, never work

And “I’m not going anywhere”

Guess it’s accountability you shirked

“My love for you STILL runs so deep,

So don’t believe my actions, just my words”

“My halting of kindness to you

Does not mean I don’t understand your worth”

“Times are hard, but we’ll be fine”

As long as I accepted scraps with smiles
But scraps said you don’t love me now
And in this journey, you haven’t for miles

“I’m sorry that I didn’t know
Midstream I would randomly change my mind.”

I’M sorry that you lied to YOU
And now I’VE had to pay the price of TIME

“It moved too fast, I couldn’t sustain”

Is that why you promised LOVE wouldn’t change?

“You deserve someone better then me”

Is that how we bail out on 'love' these days?

“Maybe we’re just too different”

I fucking think I said that once, I swear
But you convinced me otherwise
Now your hypocrisy is lying bare

“Maybe we could be ‘something else’”

But DAYS ago, you said “let’s make THIS work”

Seems you were hiding something false
Somewhere between your water and my Earth

“I’m not the one who said let’s end”

As if your cruelty left some other choice
And FUCK YOU, I won’t be your friend
For a friend would have felt the pain in my voice

I want someone who doesn’t change
Not in ways that mean they are unstable
And you told me, that you were sure
But promise keeping, I fear you’re not able

“We shouldn’t end; I still love you,
Just not enough to put in any work”

It’s sad to know, you couldn’t see
That in LOVE only ACTIONS back up WORDS.

“I can’t love you, AND work on me”

Some shyt you should have spoken from the start
And yet you say it hurts you when
I tell you I don’t trust you with MY heart

“You only see things your own way”

But I’m the one who lives here on the ground
Your whole life is a fantasy
According to the horoscopes we found…

“I’m a bastard; I’m a jerk,
For handling precious you with little care”

Apologies, they don’t mean much
Unless they are repentant, said with prayer
I’m sorry means I did you wrong
It does not mean you won’t repeat the act
Repentance says; ‘never again’
You right the wrongs, and honor every pact.

“But I can’t give what I once gave”

So you expected me to just hang on…
While you treated me with contempt
Your selfish ways left me dangling alone

“Why didn’t you just walk away?”

Did you forget the things you shared with ‘speed’?
You said you needed time; I thought
One day the real YOU would come back to me.

They say ‘Love Is A Battlefield”
And I know that this one last thing is true
You should’ve learned to live IN TRUTH
Before uttering words to me like:

“I LOVE YOU”


- Copyrighted AnOmali 101 -

---

"If I leave here tomorrow...
Will you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now...
There's too many things I've yet to see.

And if I stay here with you now...
Things could never be the same
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot chain

Oh, Lord knows I can't change
Lord knows I can't change
Lord knows I can't change
Lord knows I can't change..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I loved you well...and you will not forget me...

And you will not replace me...

And one day you will see what was real, and what was not...

And like so many days before...

You'll want to pick up the phone...

Just to repeat back to me the truth(s)...

Of things I told you long ago...

But, by then, I'll be long gone...

Even though my heart wanted to stay...

It's funny how different things can speak to you.

I was watching the end of King Kong as I wrote this...

And this thought came to me so clearly

It was as if it was being spoken to me

Whispered in my ear:

"Anything that we do not understand,

And which we can not control,

We destroy..."


I love you...

AIDS: SPREAD THIS!!!

In the Life "Out Takes"
Written by Harvey Fierstein
Title: "AIDS, Spread This!"

As you may know I'm back on Broadway. That's right. These shaved eyebrows are not meant as a fashion statement.

Well, no sooner had I arrived in my dressing room than the requests to perform AIDS benefits began to pile up. Nothing new about that. I do AIDS benefits all the time, but the sheer number of requests started me thinking why are we still doing this? Has nothing changed in the last fifteen years?

And, if not, why not?

Have we wasted two decades battling the wrong cause of AIDS?

For the better part of the last twenty years, my friends and I have sacrificed time, energy, and resources to the crisis.

We've raised money, performed shows, spoken out at schools, on TV, at rallies, in movies, hospital wards, street corners…

We've marched and protested and screamed ourselves hoarse.

We've sought out experts, trained the counselors, built hospital wards, created hospices, hand held patients, counseled families, and sewn memorial quilt panels in every city of every state of this nation.

We've back-roomed politicians and bullied pulpits, lambasted school boards and blackballed bigots. We've written legislation and pamphlets and found funding for prevention.

We fought court battles, and took on drug companies. We've smuggled meds, phonied insurance forms, bribed healthcare workers to get what patients needed. We've lectured and written about our experiences.

We've buried our friends and our lovers and our family members and our neighbors.

We've passed out condoms, and rubbered bananas, and worn red ribbons to every public event imaginable.

We've held world events and out-mediaed every single other disease ever contracted by man or beast.

We've spread the message in all conceivable languages that AIDS is a deadly but difficult to contract, and completely preventable disease.

We've done all this for the better part of twenty years and still AIDS is a day-to-day reality in our community.

Am I alone and feeling like a political fool, a social fossil and a community failure? I know folks who think that being HIV-positive is cool, sexy, and desirable.

I know HIV-positive people who have unprotected sex with others without care or conscience.

I know HIV-positive people who only have unprotected sex. I know HIV-negative people who only have unprotected sex.

I've spoken to an HIV-negative teen who only wanted two things in this world: to meet a nice guy and to seroconvert.

Now, if these people care so little about their own lives and well being, why should I care?

I should give up my Saturday night to raise money to buy drugs for some punk who went out and got AIDS thinking it was cool?

I should sign posters and theater programs for auctions to pay for the treatment of someone who continues to have unprotected sex spreading the misery?

Should I waste my time and energy fighting to keep the infecting of others with HIV decriminalized and a private matter?

Why waste money buying condoms to distribute when I can't even get some of my own acquaintances to have safer sex?

Shouldn't I forgo all this goody-two-shoe crap and just let the next generation fester on drug c*cktails and slowly die?

Why not? My generation has struggled and sacrificed all of these years and we've made little difference.

Why shouldn't I stop wasting my time?

Or have we been fighting the wrong cause of this epidemic all along? Have we? I may be ready to join those nut cases who claim HIV does not spread AIDS. No, I don't blame AIDS on government testing or bio-warfare.

I believe AIDS is spread by the same killer virus that has stalked and destroyed our people for as long as we've existed.

Forget "Silence = Death"!

How about "Self-Loathing = AIDS"?

Simply stated: Happy people don't hang themselves, do they?


- Copyright 2003 Harvey Fierstein -

---

I hope you read this in it's entirety and pass it on! This is a battle we don't have to keep losing...but it's time to stop putting a bandaid on this cancer: It must be cut out!


~A

WHEN I'M GONE

WHEN I'M GONE

(Verse I)
When I sing or write
I want you to know my heart
When I speak, give light
It’s because I want to spark within you
Something that is new
It’s really about you
All I am living for
I’m just an open door

When I dance, perform
It’s not just means to getting more
Don’t want to be cliché
Just trying to say something old
In a new way
To make you see
You have destiny
Don’t be afraid to dream
To live beyond your reach

(Chorus)
When I’m gone
I want to know that something I have done
Has changed a life
Mended a soul
When I leave
Please know I gave you
All that was given to me
The best of me:

(Refrain)
Please remember when I’m done
Just wanted to touch everyone
Then I’ll fade into my Song
When I’m Gone

(Verse II)
All that I’ve been through
I used to think it was about me
And now all I do
It has humbled me enough to know
That love is all there is
It’s as simple as this
No amount of fame
Could ever change that plan

Make no mistake, it’s true
I am not preaching or pretending
I’m only human, but when
I look into the mirror
I can see the face of God
Rising like the tide
Urging me to sing truth
It’s what I was born to do

(Chorus)
When I’m gone
I want to know that something that I said
Has healed a heart
Torn down a wall
When I leave
Please know I gave you
All that was given to me
The best of me:

(Refrain)
Please remember when I’ve won
Just wanted to love everyone
Then I’ll fade the Son
When I’m Gone

(Bridge)
When I’m gone
I want to know something I left behind
Will save a soul
When my time is through
There's nothing left to do
I want to know my work is done
When my life is over
And my spirit soars
I want to hear Him say well done
You left a light
And it still shines
In a world embracing darkness

(Chorus)
When I’m gone
I want to know that something that I said
Has changed a life
Mended a soul
When I leave
Please know I gave you
All that was given to me
The best of me:

(Refrain)
Please remember when I’m done
Just wanted to touch everyone
Then I’ll fade into the Son
When I’m gone

Please remember when I’ve won
Just wanted to love everyone
Then I’ll fade into my Song
When I’m gone...

– Copyright © AnOmali 101 –

---

P-U-R-P-O-S-E

I just thought I would share my purpose for living, for being, for manifesting, for dreaming, for doing, for having been created, for co-creating, and the truth of my purest thought of heart...

This IS my purpose.

Do you know yours???

What will be thought, said, done, accomplished, changed, brightened, healed, taught...as a result of your ever having existed here on Earth?

This song, this blog, is not an excercise in, or a celebration in or of death (though physical death is inevitable for us all, regardless of the discomfort that notion brings), but it is an exercise, an attempt to get you to think about your purpose...an exercise in LIFE and it's meaning.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I've often heard it said that the BULK of the world's greatest songs, most beautiful art, cures for diseases, most prolific writings, and a host of world changing ideas, all reside in one place...

THE GRAVE...

Because a purpose filled life was not lived by those who were blessed with these gifts, ideas, philosophies, talents, that if put to use, might have changed the WORLD! A sad truth, isn't it?...


So tell me:

What will your legacy be???

Or do you plan on taking your contribution to the world, to life itself, with you to the grave?


~A

The Power Of One... (A Collab With The Ex)

The Power Of One...

As my aching grows more consuming,
while my thoughts drift constantly back to the sound of your voice.
I become so aware of my temple’s need for your touch

I come to your temple humbly
To offer and receive the gifts of the known
The space that heals us both as we answer echoed calls

Without words, I moan my reply
With pleasured utterances interpreted only by the soul
Understood only with the heart
Surrendering to the knowing: I am yours

Beyond words, we live our reply
Trusting revelations interpreted only as one soul
Understood as one heart
Blessed by the knowing: we ARE


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -

ECHOED FREELY...

Echoed Free...

So speak to me in songs and psalms...
Rhythms and echoes
Tell me of your people,
Of your past,
Who you be,
Just be free.

See,
My soul floats on the current of a wave of emotion,
Undefined, indescribable,
Beyond the reach of my mind...

Yes, you

are

All

I've

Ever

Imagined

Longed for

Needed

Craved

Sought

Dreamed of

Fantasized

Expected

Held onto

My breathless echo...

My sunlit shadow...

Constantly in motion

Yet, oh so still...

I see eternity in your eyes

I see eternity through your eyes

And

All that is divine

Lays in you...


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -

ECHOES (Collab w/ The Ex)

"Echoes on the wind,
Made manifest within
Were shadows of the truth
We now are dwelling in..."

"a glance from all-consuming giving
when we danced the dance of reciprocity
hearts keeping rhythm
your voice pouring pleasure into my hungry ear
your body pouring pleasure into my hungry mouth
your well pouring pleasure
into my hungry hands
hearts keeping rhythm
drawing dreamers to our echo

the only sound..."


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -

LIFE IS A DREAM

This is where my head is, this is where my heart is, but most of all, this is where my spirit is. I seek that which defies the tangible. I long for more than what a lover can possess in a natural sense... I want my soul to be satisfied...this is the thirst within my soul that must be quenched before and above all else.

I was listening to an old song (NOW PLAYING) that I used to love when I was in college...and hearing it for the first time in years moved me to tears... It is my current state of reality and summarizes this thought, these feelings with an eloquence that I don't currently possess.

Only God's love can fulfill the soul...and this soul of mine, as much as I desire my mate, the one that that I was designed for, that was molded exclusively for me...I long for HIM more than and above all...for a love so true can ONLY come through HIM... He is my source, He is my all...and true love is the exclusive blessing and privilege given from Him and Him alone...

Even the love of my dreams is going to let me down sometimes. They will inevitably wound me sometimes. We will go through storms and hills and valleys...we're human. My career will have ups and downs... Beauty, money, romance and success are all fleeting...

But God, His love is consistent. It is perfect. And perfect love comes only through Him. Joy comes only through Him…happiness is temporary, but Joy is everlasting and does not depend on circumstances. Pretty much everything I think I want in this world, when I compare it to it's spiritual counterpart – the spiritual form of each desire, this world's offerings pale in comparison. I am beginning to see that the only way to possess the things of this world is to take the value off of them, to be carefree about their possession, and to place value only in things that are eternal, and keep it moving while keeping Him first! Not a new lesson, but for the first time, I believe it is being fully etched into the templates of my heart with a sense of true 'applicability'.

There are so many desires that I want to have fulfilled in this life, dreams and purposes that I know are meant for my life, even if achieving them will require me defying the odds in many regards… But, every now and then I hear a still voice whisper to my soul, "All is Vanity"... Of course, these are the words of King Solomon in the Book of Proverbs, the richest and wisest man in all of written history, reminding us that this life is temporary, that all will pass away, that we are living to live again, and that while it is ok to desire some modem of success, happiness; Eternity is so much larger than this life's temporary reality...

I long for that which I cannot touch, that which I cannot see. Above a mate, above a Grammy, above success, above romantic love, above ALL else - I long for Him...for Truth...for the wisdom of an eternity spent with Him. For the answers that the soul seeks that NOTHING on Earth can satisfy.

This life is indeed a dream...I desire just a taste of what is to come to keep me moving through this phase of existence with clarity and determination. To keep me focused on what is to come, and constantly aware that this life is only the journey...it is by no means the destination...

I know the moment I fully grasp this, I will attain everything I desire, because the desire will no longer control me, and the fear of failing in any of these goals will no longer dictate my every move...

---

LIFE IS A DREAM

(Verse I)
There is a longing in the heart
There is a hunger in the soul
A thirst that can't be satisfied
But deep inside you know
You long for
Something that is much more
Than everything that's in your world

(Chorus)
'Cause life is a dream
And Heaven's reality
And I'm caught in between
And though it seems
This world has everything
It's nothing more than a dream

Life is a dream
And Heaven's reality
And if we just hold on,
Then we will wake up
To the face of God

(Verse II)
Half of life's not even lived
There are parts we cannot see
But sometimes we catch a glimpse
As through a glass darkly
What should be
What life really would be
If heaven only could be now

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
There's a need to know and to be known
There's an emptiness that's filled by God alone

(Chorus)

- Anointed -

The Theory Of Flight

“Always remember: Though you may not yet be soaring high above the ground, neither are you laying six feet beneath it.”

PUSH (A Song Idea)

(Verse I)
I don't even have the words to even tell you how I'm feeling
And I don't even know just how I'm feeling myself
If I had the chance to make it known just what I'm thinking
Although you hurt me, I don't wsnt nobody else

(Hook)
So I push
Push you away
Away from my heart
Because it's too fragile to deal with this pain
I push you aside
You're hurting my pride
I hide myself from you with nothing to gain
I push down the words
Screaming but not heard
My heart wants to say
Don't you know that I love you...
But instead of I just...
Push

(Verse II)
I don't even know just what to do to show my feelings
Right now I'm so hurt and confused
I don't know what to do (Background: So I push you away)
I don't even know just how to say what I am thinking
I know that my anger's substitution for truth

(Bridge)
See sometimes I feel
Like this pain will never heal
Then sometimes I think you see my truth
And sometimes I'm sure
That this love is too real
But the hurt in me needs so much proof

(Hook)
So I push
Push you away
Away from my heart
Because it's too fragile to deal with this pain
I push you aside
You're hurting my pride
I hide myself from you with nothing to gain
I push down the words
Screaming but not heard
My heart wants to say
Don't you know that I love you?
Buy the words won't come
And I guess we're done
So I just...

Push


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -

SUBSTITUTE

YOU USED ME AS A SUBSTITUTE
TO FILL YOU UP; TO MAKE YOU WHOLE
YOU USED ME AS YOUR SUBSTITUTE
`CAUSE I’M THE ONE WHO FEEDS YOUR SOUL

THOUGH THE ILLUSION SEEMS SO REAL
BECAUSE YOUR FEAR HIDES TRUTH FROM THEE
STILL IN THE END, TIME WILL REVEAL
FOR YOU, THE SUBSTITUTE IS SHE.

– Copyright © AnOmali 101 –

"LIFT EVERY VOICE AND SING!"

Coretta Scott King speaks at a peace demonstration in Washington, D.C., 1970.

---

BLACK NATIONAL ANTHEM
(VERSE I) 

Lift every voice and sing, 

Till earth and Heaven ring, 

Ring with the harmonies of liberty; 

Let our rejoicing rise, 

High as the listening skies, 

Let it resound loud as the rolling sea. 

Sing a song full of the faith 

That the dark past has taught us, 

Sing a song full of the hope 

That the present has brought us; 

Facing the rising sun 

Of our new day begun, 

Let us march on till victory is won. 

(VERSE II)

Stony the road we trod, 

Bitter the chastening rod, 

Felt in the days when hope unborn had died; Yet with a steady beat, 

Have not our weary feet, 

Come to the place which our fathers sighed? 

We have come over a way 

That with tears has been watered, 

We have come, treading our path 

Through the blood of the slaughtered; 

Out from the gloomy past, 

Till now we stand at last 

Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast. 

(VERSE III)

God of our weary years, 

God of our silent tears, 

Thou Who hast brought us 

Thus far on the way; 

Thou Who hast by Thy might, 

Led us into the light, 

Keep us forever in the path, we pray. 

Lest our feet stray from the places, 

Our God, where we met Thee. 

Lest our hearts, drunk with the wine 

Of the world, we forget Thee. 

Shadowed beneath Thy hand, 

May we forever stand, 

True to our God, true to our native land. 

Words: James W. John­son 

Music: John R. John­son

 

---

It is black history month, and sadly, just before it began, we lost the rock of our struggle, the woman who stood behind the man, Mrs. Coretta Scott King... May her Spirit, alongside her husband’s, the late Rev., Dr. Martin Luther King, live on through us, just like all of those who’s names we may not know, but whose purpose filled lives have forever altered the courses of our own… 

This time of year means so much to so many, and oddly, not enough to many more in our generation. However, I feel as though no writing summarizes more eloquently who we are, where we have been, or where we are going with the strength of our faith in GOD, than "The Black National Anthem". 

I am so full every time I sing it, whether as a solo, or with a group or congregation. I often wonder how anyone could sing these words and not feel SOMETHING! I am sure there will be infinite and cliché opportunities for ALL of us to educate ourselves, celebrate ourselves, watch ‘us’ on TV, read about ‘us’ in every magazine, etc. during this, the shortest month of the year... However, please make it your business to take pride in whom and what you are, whatever your ‘box’ (or lack thereof) may be, and ESPECIALLY if you are in any way a part of the African Diaspora. 

We are a strong and beautiful people. Feel an obligation to those who paved the way for you through blood, murdered dreams, torture, slavery, Jim Crow, Apartheid, and even death. Feel obligated to dream and to pursue those dreams at any and all costs. Feel constrained to take advantage of education, voting, housing, every opportunity you can get your hands on to better yourself and your community. Feel mandated to create possibilities for your self and for others; to continue the fight for TRUE equality for ALL because the war is FAR from over! 

Feel blessed that you can date outside of your race, go wherever you please, say whatever you'd like to whomever you please and not end up as "Strange Fruit”. Feel privileged that you can go to the school of your choice: your grandmother probably couldn’t. Feel honored that SOME people regard you as an equal, and feel compelled to teach those who are still too ignorant to understand the basic principals upon which this great nation was built: ‘We hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created EQUAL!”… 

Starting today; the beginning of Black History Month 2006, make a choice to honor your people, your ancestry, your God, your SELF with the life you live, with the rights you exercise, with the God-given privilege you exploit that others fought and died for. Use your life to pave the way for others... Celebrate the skin you’re in! Honor your heritage by making your ancestors proud! Realize that you will not live forever and it is up to you to leave a legacy… The way things are shaping up right now, the legacy our generation leaves behind would NOT honor the rich legacy set out before us by our predecessors… Let's work to change that one life at a time! 

Chase and Live your dreams...it is the least you can do for yourself, for the pillars of our past, and for the children of our future! And most of all, from the small voice of this one queer, Black, mixed, church girl: "Let Freedom Ring"! 

—A

NAKED (Struck When I Heard This)

My stubborn skin is wearing thin
I bared my soul you waltzed right in
I gave you everything
And you just made me feel so very
NAKED.
And I don't remember
How I let myself become so unraveled.
I spilled my guts on your best shoes
You keep it in.
I let it loose.
It's only love that makes me feel
Like getting so completely
NAKED.
And I don't remember
How I let myself become so unraveled.
I’m naked, pretty as a heartache
Waiting for my second skin to settle in
Your hardened heart can't hide you now
It loves as much as you allow
And in the end the eyeball army
Will just take you down and you'll be
NAKED.
Nothing but a heartache.
And you know there's nothing that can hide you now
You're NAKED.
Pretty as a heartache
Going out exactly how you came in.


– Tracy Bonham –

EVEN IF

(Beginning Stages Of A Work In Progress)

Even if I wanted to touch you
I fear that the pain you've caused me
Flows like poison through my veins
And I've grown a Scorpions tail
Ready and able to sting at will
Sending that poison back to it's original destination
And through your system like a deadly flash
And it alone does the bidding
Of the love I feel, once felt, for you

Even if I wanted to forgive you
The memories of all your wrong
Overwhelm my scarred soul and severed heart pieces
Bound together only by the ice
That once encased yours
Transferring your hurt, hate and pain to me
And left me to rot

Even if I wanted to love you again
My head now rules my once unruly heart
And in my most incredulous imaginings
I can't even conceive of allowing myself
To disrespect myself, to deny myself
By giving in to your whims just because
This well runs dry
Or to think that you really
Could have changed in such a short time


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -

Someone Else's Words Spoke My Utmost Truth...

Someone on DL wrote these words...and they were SO true...they pierced my soul quite unexpectedly...because they could have come from my heart, from my lips, though not with the same eloquence and this woman - who is a writer by trade...but we share this truth none-the-less and I wanted to record it here so I could reference it when I need to...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucky

Tell Me I'm The Only One...

Conversations, though brief, with a friend at a great distance who still remains so very close, so very near to the truth of who I am, hit even closer today in ways that both made me cringe and smile. Cuz it was only put the way it was put because she cares. And because like me she doesn't, can't always, most times chooses not to censor her delivery and I love her for it.

So she says to me: Kiesh, you just need to be alone right now. You were the abuser.

And maybe she was right. Self-abusing and providing out pent up pain in balls of fists and tears that had to end at some point. When I left, I suppose that's what I was leaving. Without looking back.

I loved and I loved and I loved.
I cried and I cried and I cried.
Until I couldn't anymore.

Though so many pieces of me still desired to if it meant having rather than not-- just a taste, right on the tips of my fingers, toes and tongue of you.

So standing alone now with women around me calling me, desiring shallow and momentary things with me. Wanting everything but me; makes me lonely not for companionship. Not for love and love-making. Not for touches and the warmth of a body curled behind my own come nightfall.

Not to be anyone's distraction. Their pretty girl. Their fleeting novelty and good time.

But for that passion. That us. That trust even when you can't trust. That back and forth and quiet nights we spent in baths by candlelight. Those cold mornings when you said, "don't go" and tucked your feet under mine. That knowing my aggression and anxiety. Those long rides when I was depressed. You seeing my scars and rubbing them with your own...

It takes so long to build those things. To learn. To know. To gradually accept those character blocks I share that make the house of who I am. A year in and I'm finally ready to give you the key, let you enter and roam around freely...cuz I love you. Want you to see how much of a mess I can be. How much I'm equally ready to shelter you...

God I miss that time. Miss those things.
But it makes me sad to realize, to suddenly know...I just don't miss you.

And so I'm left standing alone, taking in what my friend suggested. And I'm comfortable and impatient. I'm confused and remaining so clear. I'm knowing what she said when she said it was real and solid, though heavy to hold.

But I'm hopeful. Ready to be fixed. And live and live and live. So I'll be ready when she comes...

For when she says I'm the only one...


in a harlot's dress
you wear the smile of a child
with the faith of mary magdalene
and you wash the feet of unworthy men
come, and i'll set you free
into an endless valley of fruits
both sweet and sour
and whatever displeases your palate
my Kisses will wash away
stay
if you must dance, dance for me
so blessed are the pure at heart
for they shall see god
so close your eyes and dream
for the world will blind you
and i'll judge not
so that i may not be judged
give me what i want

tell me i'm the only one

meshell n'dgeocello

Shhh: MY SOUL IS SPEAKING...

These words, this song, captures the essence of my being more than anything else in this moment in time. This has always been my favorite Stevie Wonder song, though many people are not familiar with it. It runs as deep as the ocean and swallows the shallowness and deceit of this world and the many cruel people who are allowed to abound in it without conscience. It reflects what is at the heart and soul of me as though Stevie was prophesying what would manifest in my spirit a decade before I was born… It is prophetic in the truth that it declares with a boldness that goes beyond imaginings – and thus over the heads of the masses. And I know that these words hold true – and for me, they hold the balance of what is to come if I maintain that which is:

“The substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen”…

---

THEY WON'T GO WHEN I GO

(Verse I)
No more lying friends
Wanting tragic ends
Though they do pretend
They won't go when I go

All those bleeding hearts
With sorrows to impart
Were right here from the start
And they won't go when I go

(Refrain)
And I'll go where I've longed
To go so long Away from tears

(Verse II)
Gone from painful cries
Away from saddened eyes
Along with him I'll bide
Because they won't go when I go

Big men feeling small
Weak ones standing tall
I will watch them fall
They won't go when I go

(Refrain)

(Bridge)
Unclean minds mislead the pure
The innocent will leave for sure
For them there is a resting place
People sinning just for fun
They will never see the sun
For they can never show their faces
There ain't no room for the hopeless sinner
Who will take more than he will give
Then he will give, he will give
He ain't hardly gonna give

(Verse III)
The greed of man will be
Far away from me
And my soul will be free
They won't go when I go

Since my soul conceived
All that I believe
The kingdom I will see
'Cause they won't go when I go

(End Refrain)
When I go…where I'll go
No one can keep me from: MY DESTINY

THEY WON’T GO WHEN I GO


– Stevie Wonder –

---

My dearest Stevie – My precursory musical soul mate…I cannot even imagine what prompted your soul to open up and pour out these divine words of wisdom, pain, and truth… All I do know is that where ever you were…that is where I now dwell…breaking, dying, being reborn, preparing for the next life…and the next…and the next…until freedom…until…purpose...until destiny unfolds…until…

~A

I Thought I'd Lost These Lyrics...

WITHOUT YOU

(Verse I)
So how are you doing? My best friend asks
Should I answer with cliché?
I tell her I’m fine but, she knows I’m lying
Truth is that I’m not ok
See it’s been a while now, since I’ve smiled now
Since I’ve had a real good day
So I pretend to be happy, truly happy
Ever since you went away
________________________________________

(Refrain)
AND I SMILE FOR THE WORLD
BUT INSIDE I KNOW I’M DYING
AND IT MAY LOOK LIKE I’M FINE
‘CAUSE YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME CRYING
AND I WILL KEEP SINGING MY SONGS
‘CAUSE THEY’RE ALL I HAVE TO HOLD ONTO
HOPE THEY DON’T LOOK CLOSER
‘CAUSE THEY’LL SEE I’M LOST –
WITHOUT YOU
________________________________________

(Verse II)
I walk on the stage and sing my heart out
Like I’ve got something to prove
Don’t want them to see that I'm a mess, babe
'Cause I’m still not over you
I greet the applause, but I’m not there
I’m off rehearsing all your lies
Don't want them to see that my success helps
Me keep all the pain disguised
(Refrain)
________________________________________

(Bridge)
Yesterday I cried
'Cause the pain found itself catching up to me
Then today I smiled
'Cause I'm finally learning how to love me
Sometimes it hurts so bad
That I can’t pick up the phone
Just to tell you ‘bout my day
How did things end up things way?
How could we just walk away?
________________________________________

(Refrain to End)
AND I SMILE FOR THE WORLD
THOUGH INSIDE I KNOW I’M DYING
AND IT MAY LOOK LIKE I’M FINE
‘CAUSE YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME CRYING
AND I WILL KEEP SINGING MY SONGS
‘CAUSE THEY’RE ALL I HAVE TO HOLD ONTO
HOPE THEY DON’T LOOK CLOSER
‘CAUSE THEY’LL SEE I’M LOST –
WITHOUT YOU...

My smile is hiding
That I’m dying here
Without you...


– Copyright 2005 © AnOmali 101 –

AGAIN

(A Work In Progress: For The Demon...)

I gave you my all
When you could not return it
Surrendered my heart
Although you did not earn it
So how could you hurt me again?

I took on your baggage
As though it were my own
And reaped nothing but pain
For the love that I’d sewn
So how could you hurt me again?

Abused by your words
And abused by your hands
Murdered me, in a sense
And yet still, here I stand
So how could you hurt me again?

You punished me for mistakes
Others have made
Your past, the enemy
From which we can’t be saved
So how could you hurt me again?

When your life goes wrong
You persecute me
Send our progress to hell
With no apologies
So how could you hurt me again?

Promised me that this time
You would truly change
You know I’m a diamond
I AM your best friend
So how could you hurt me again?

Put all your needs first
While I sacrificed mine
`Cause you promised me
The moon and stars in due time
So how could you hurt me again?

Begged me not to leave
When my soul walked away
Twisted your string to my heart
And I stayed
So how could you hurt me again?

You crippled my dignity
Buried my pride
And I forgave you
Even after I died
So how could you hurt me again?

You took all I had
Like a thief in the night
All the while telling me
That one day you’d do right
So how could you hurt me again?

Never the priority,
I am never first
Gave you chance after chance
And you just made things worse
So how could you hurt me again?

I cried so many tears
In them you could have drowned
I keep lifting you up
You keep letting me down
So how could you hurt me again?

Asked me for my patience
In spite of your lies
But your heart, it never did
Outgrow your pride
So how could you hurt me again?

Things were rarely my fault
But I took all the blame
Manned up and said sorry
And incurred your shame
So how could you hurt me again?

You begged for the chance
To prove your love was true
Against everything in me
I gave one to you
So how could you hurt me again?

Letting go is sometimes harder
Then holding on
You have made love unsafe
We’re way past right and wrong
So how could you hurt me again?

Banged my head on the brick wall
That you call a heart
When it seemed it was open
You ripped me apart
So how could you hurt me again?

And this is the pattern
On constant repeat
Your fears, your dysfunction
Beat the hell out of me
So how could you hurt me again?

But I wouldn’t be stopped
From believing in you
While you held onto HER
I was your unwitting fool
So how could you hurt me again?

Even through all of this
You asked me to stay
Endured all your sh*t
What a price I have paid
So how could you hurt me again?

Unconditional love
Was the promised reward
But on you I’ve spent more
Than I’ll ever afford
So how could you hurt me again?

Denied and rejected
Then finally scorned
My mind was made up
Although my heart was torn
So how could you hurt me again?

As I finally find courage
To just walk away
And you cry and ask why
All there is left to say is:

How could you hurt me again?


– Copyright 2005 © AnOmali 101 –

---

Just sharing my truth at the moment... - 'A'

A Ton Of Bricks...

A ton of bricks is on my head
That is the weight that was left on me when you went away
So much like a man I'll never truly know
So many gifts, and a strangeness that this cruel world can't comprehend
Preferring to destroy me rather than hear or know the truth I bring
The weight of all you were meant to do - poured upon my head
The weight of all of your sins, now tormenting me
Your demons now following me
Stalking the dreams that we share
Still looking for a love that is as real and as pure and as true
As the one I was denied from you...

Rest in Peace...

Love Always,


Your Little Girl

Clipped Wings(A Collab I Began w/ The Ladies Of Mocha)

CLIPPED WINGS

Someone clipped my wings and took with them my belief that we could fly…
Someone took my faith, and it’s like living in a dream waiting to die
Someone stole my hope and left me fearful, waiting for what would come next
Someone stole my mind, and left me wading, saddened, lifeless and perplexed

Someone crushed my heart, no thought given to how that would affect my life
Someone killed my dreams; in one moment, there was no hope left in sight
Someone stole my sense, my ability to make a better choice
Someone stole my rights, refused to see me or to hear my voice

Someone spoke death in my ears, not realizing the power of the tongue
Someone blessed me with a curse, not karma, just denial of the sun
Someone taught me to believe, that in our love, there’s no way we could lose
Someone said don’t make one a priority if you’re not what they choose

Someone once said all is fair in love, and all is fair in love and war
Someone also said time heals all wounds and time will even up the score
Someone helped me learn the truth, that sometimes love with all just ain’t enough
Someone disproved that theory; sometimes loving with your all is just too much

You see love had me blinded, had me crawling like a serpent in the night...
Like an eagle in the wind, my fragile spirit knew I had to take first flight...
Now I soar alone, high, above, beyond unseen forgotten plains...
Temptation had the best of me, but I know I can’t turn back again...
My wings which are my armor-bold, vivid, lucid, strong that were once clipped...
Your robust winds took me on this crazy, dreamlike, egotistical trip...
Now this journey between love and war has ended, and grey skies are passing over...
I stand one of the few...the proud...
After all you put me through...
I'm still a soldier...


- Copyright © AnOmali 101 -

IN THE PRESENCE OF MY ENEMIES...

(Dedicated to ALL Those Whose Mission Is To Bring Me Down…)


"The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
He leadeth me beside the still waters
He restoreth my soul
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me;
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies…"

In the presence of mine enemies…
In the presence of my enemies…
...
…
In the presence of my enemies I will fear no evil
See if these words prove true
Than my reward, revenge, karma, fate…
My very rite of passage
Is not in running or in hiding,
Shielding or protecting,
Offense or defense,
In fighting back
Or in my being just beyond their reach
But right in the midst
Of all those who would oppose
And seek to destroy me
Before my destiny can unfold

I dwell amongst them: broken – in humility and resolve
Yearning to strike back
With the venom of divine truth
That would break their spirits far beyond
How they’ve scarred me with their lies
Yet, knowing that if I do not run and hide, or fight
That if I ‘hold my peace’
My reward is most certainly at hand
So in their very presence I won’t cower or pretend
This is where I’ll STAND
Facing death because it’s near
But feeling strength build in my fear
I will not fight and I won’t jeer
I’ll simply stand

“Thou preparest a table before me”…
In the presence of my enemies
Though my instinct is to insulate, shield, duck, run
Fight, hate, kill, shun
To remove myself from impending, repetitive harm…
It is in the very presence of my enemies
That my healing and my victory has begun

Right before their very eyes
I feel the buds of my rewards
Soon to come into full bloom
From the ground they’ll watch me soar

See this battle isn’t fought
With what my naked eyes can see
A foul force seeks to destroy
My divinely ordained destiny

It even hides in faces
Of those I held most dear
Who were only sent to harm me
Keep unGodly spirits near

But my victory will not come
In regression or reprieve
But in the presence of my enemies
God’s vengeance on emotional thieves

There’s no need for me to fight
If my strength’s to be restored
There’s no need for me to run
Time will even up the score

I’ll stand my ground, no fear or shame
And at this table, I will bleed
Because victory is certain
In the very PRESENCE of my enemies…


– Copyright © 2005 AnOmali 101 –

WITHOUT YOU

(Verse I)
So how are you doing?
My best friend asks
Should I answer with cliché?
I answer: I’m fine but,
She knows I’m lying
Truth is that I’m not ok
See it’s been a while now,
Since I’ve smiled now
Since I’ve had a real good day
So I pretend to be happy,
Truly happy
Ever since you went away
________________________________________

(Refrain)
AND I SMILE FOR THE WORLD
THOUGH INSIDE I KNOW I’M DYING
AND IT MAY LOOK LIKE I’M FINE
‘CAUSE YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME CRYING
AND I WILL KEEP SINGING MY SONGS
‘CAUSE THEY’RE ALL I HAVE TO HOLD ONTO
HOPE THEY DON’T LOOK CLOSER
‘CAUSE THEY’LL SEE I’M LOST –
WITHOUT YOU
________________________________________

(Verse II)
I walk on the stage and
Sing my heart out
Like I’ve got something to prove
Don’t want them to see
How much it hurts or
That I’m still not over you
I greet the applause,
But I’m not there
I’m off rehearsing all your lies
And they’ll never see that
My success helps
Me keep all the pain disguised
(Refrain)
________________________________________

(Bridge)
Yesterday I cried
'Cause the pain found itself catching up to me
Then today I smiled
'Cause I'm finally learning how to love me
Sometimes it hurts so bad
That I can’t call just to tell you ‘bout my day
How did it end up this way?
How could we just walk away?
________________________________________

(Refrain to End)
My smile is hiding
That I’m dying here
Without you


– Copyright © AnOmali 101 –

SPOKEN LIKE A WIFE...I THINK TOO MUCH LIKE A WIFE...

I WILL NOT – (This Is A Work/Truth/Declaration In Progress…)

I will not let how you treat me define how I love you
I will not let how you hurt me define how I treat you
I will not let your cruelty alter who I am, or control how I behave
I will not let your belittling of me to justify your choices
Define me or lessen my sense of self worth
I will not let lies conceived in pain and anger
Fester and become truth in my heart
I will not let what I see in the moment
Destroy my hope and faith in the future
I will not allow the acting out of the wounded inner child
Blind my memory to the loving, beautiful adult
That still exists beneath your walls of defense
I will not cling to a human security blanket – new or old
To repress my feelings, or numb myself to you
In an effort to avoid some painful truth
I will not let words purposefully left unspoken
Devalue all that has been shared and understood
I will not let the pain of your publicized anger
Drive the truth of your love from my soul
I will not let pride and shame make me lie, even to myself
I will not let poor communiqué, or lack thereof
Be the sole excuse for the loss of my dearest friend
I will not let fear of pain, or fear of failure
Force me to cower from the most virtuous of battles
I will not let small, momentary defeats beat the fight out of my heart
I will not let my heart declare a crime scene and close indefinitely
I will not let my words be misspoken in anger and frustration
Even when cruel words are spewed at me
I will not be too proud to forgive without penalty,
To say I’m sorry – even when I am not at fault
If that’s what it takes to create peace and restore balance
I will not let my intellect overrule the truth in my heart
I will not overreact in self defense
When you lash out at me in hurt disguised as venom
I will not fail to see your truth through your layers of disguise
I will not focus on the surface of your deeds,
Failing to hear what it is that your frustrated heart
Cannot find the words or courage to say
I will not feed into your self defeated, subconscious sabotage of us
I will not fight with you just because you incite me to wrath
I will not ignore the truth within my soul
Even if is defied by what you say and do, and all I see
I will not let your pain push me permanently away
I will not turn my back on you, when in my heart I know that you need me
I will not be afraid to love without boundaries
To hold your hand and walk through hell without a safety net
To be your silent strength in the battle for your soul
Or love you from a prayerful distance
While you conquer your demons, one by one
If that’s what it takes to make you whole
I will not fear the consequences
Of being true to myself, or my heart
I will not bail out on you,
Even in the face of your abandonment of me
I will not give up on you, in spite of the fact
That you don’t even seem to see or know me anymore
I will not stop loving you merely because it is inconvenient
Just because it hurts; for lack of reciprocity…
And even though my heart is breaking, and it feels like hell:
I will not take the easy way out.

I will not change
I will not falter
I will not pretend
I will not repress
I will not deny
I will not run
I will not hide
I will not lie
I will not fade
I will not bend
I will not break
I will not…

I will not.


– Copyright © AnOmali 101 –

SUBSTITUTE

YOU USED ME AS 
A SUBSTITUTE
TO FILL YOU UP; 
TO MAKE YOU WHOLE
YOU USED ME AS 
YOUR SUBSTITUTE
`CAUSE I’M THE ONE 
WHO FEEDS YOUR SOUL

THOUGH THE DELUSIONS SEEM SO REAL
BECAUSE YOUR FEAR 
HIDES TRUTH FROM THEE
STILL IN THE END, 
TIME WILL REVEAL
FOR YOU, 
THE SUBSTITUTE IS SHE.


– Copyright © AnOmali 101 –

PEDESTAL

I put you on a pedestal

‘Cause I thought you could do no wrong

I put you on a pedestal

'Cause at your worst, you meant no harm

I put you on a pedestal

It seemed we’d have a different end

I put you on a pedestal

Because we started out as friends

I held you high above the earth

Refused to see you weighed me down

I held you up with all my might

'Til I collapsed, broken and bound

My arms weren’t strong enough for two

Especially with you kicking me

Realizing now, you held me down

Because that’s where you needed me

I put you on a pedestal

Heart’s love too much to dwell on faults

I put you on a pedestal

Love was too big to count the costs

I put you on a pedestal

Not seeing that’s where I belonged

You placed yourself above reproach

Finessed me with the same sad song

“It wasn’t me, I’m not at fault”

You never could admit your blame

That pedestal, now cracked in two

Light seeps through, shining on your shame

I put you on a pedestal

Pretending not to see the truth

And when I took you off that mount

The light emerged and I saw you

You see in truth, I knew your kind

Cruel, cowardly duality

I took you off that pedestal

And the one lifted up was ME

– Copyright © AnOmali 101 –